Happy Birthday and Thanks for All the Sake!
by Idiom Laurels
Summary: It's Yukimura's birthday! ... And then it comes... what will everyone GET FOR HIM? WHAT DOES HE WANT? WHERE AM I? I mean... how will it turn out?


Wow... last time I checked there were only 12 SDK fanfics on ff.n. How sad is THAT? Oh well... here's one to add to the small stack. - Why? BECAUSE I LOVE SAMURAI DEEPER KYO! - Who cares if no one reads it! At least the little number next to its category will go up one, hm? -  
  
I don't own Samurai Deeper Kyo, nor do I own Yukimura Sanada ... or ... even know WHEN his birthday IS. T.T I suck...  
  
xXxXxXx  
  
"Yukimura-sama...?"  
  
"Why aren't my arms longer...?"  
  
"Umm...I don't know, Yukimura-sama."  
  
"Well then, do you at least know an alternative way to solve the problem?"  
  
"A long wooden stick...?"  
  
"No. I don't quite see how that would work, Saizo."  
  
"Then what about—OH! My deepest apologies, sir!" Saizo cried out, bowing and running to wrap a bandage running along the direct middle of Yukimura's back.  
  
"It's nothing... Say! That reminds me! Where'd Sasuke run off to this morning...?" There was a long pause of silence in the room. For one or two minutes, only the sound of birds chirping and a young woman screaming in horror from off in the distance could be heard. "Emm... not that the subject of nothing reminds me of Sasuke..." Yukimura corrected himself, rubbing the back of his head as he grabbed his shirt and began to put it on, constantly pushing away Saizo's helping hands.  
  
"I believe he went off to do something, sir," Saizo answered firmly, standing up straight and alert.  
  
"Oh! Well if that's where he went then we've nothing to worry about, right?" Yukimura asked, smiling cheerfully as he stepped outside.  
  
"I... assume so..." Saizo said in confusion, following after. Unbeknownst to Yukimura, Saizo had an extremely important question to ask him, one that had been resting on his shoulders and dashing around his mind for the past week. Everyone wanted to know the answer, but everyone also wanted Saizo to be the one to ask, and relay to the others. Everyone who knew Yukimura had this terrible burden to deal with each and every year... They merely knew the obvious... But this year, this time, they wanted it to be different! So the question had to be asked! Saizo and others had to break this ongoing curse of embarrassment and this unexciting replay of events!  
  
"Yukimura-sama, what do you want for your birthday!?" Saizo cried out, closing his eyes and bracing himself, as if he expected Yukimura to lash out at him like some sort of crazy, wild dog.  
  
Yukimura stayed in the exact same position, wistfully looking up into the sky.  
  
"I dunno... some good sake perhaps..."  
  
Saizo just stared.  
  
Sake...? Some sake...? Some good sake...? Some good sake perhaps...? NEVER!! Year after year, Yukimura had received nothing BUT sake! This year, everyone wanted to give him something else. They wanted to give him something he'd actually remember enjoying....  
  
"What... else, sir?" Saizo inquired, looking down at the floor as if he were ashamed of denying Yukimura's first answer.  
  
"Other than sake!?" Yukimura shouted, turning around to glare at the man behind him.  
  
"...yes... Yukimura-sama..."  
  
"I don't believe I need anything other than sake..." he said to himself quietly, in thought.  
  
Saizo stood, feeling himself unworthy to do anything other than count the little pieces of wood that made up the patch of floor he could see below him. There were so many... he would certainly have to adjust his glance at some point. That frightened Saizo beyond all reason, but also brought up philosophical questions. Was he merely a little piece of wood sticking out from the floor of the world? How big a little splinter was he? Was he the one on the edge, tall and strong? Or was he one in the middle, small and insignificant?  
  
"No matter what your answer may be, Yukimura-sama, you'll always be the large piece of wood on the lower left corner."  
  
"Hm? Really, Saizo? That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me..." Yukimura replied, absolutely serious and understanding in every way. Clearly the same thoughts had crossed his own mind at some point in which he was staring at the floor. "But in any case... I guess some clothing would be nice. You always had good taste in the field, Saizo. Oh and maybe some of those interesting new hair products...!"  
  
"Thank you so much, Yukimura-sama. But in any matter, you look your finest already."  
  
"Hmm... Saizo, when you have the time, would you please make the floor a different color?"  
  
"Of course, sir!" Saizo agreed, nodding as he left the building in a flash.  
  
"...Hmmhm! I guess he's off to tell the others," Yukimura chuckled giddily to himself, as his eyes scanned the room. "I'll need a bigger closet..."  
  
xXxXxXx  
  
Saizo soon arrived at the predetermined location, the middle of nowhere.  
  
"It is not the middle of nowhere you idiot!" Sasuke shouted, twisting Saizo's nose in punishment.  
  
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Saizo whimpered, huddling away from everyone else. "Ahem, anyway," he started, clearing his throat as he stood up in front of everyone, waiting for all the talking to cease and for all eyes to fall on him. This, of course, took a while.  
  
"Yes, why did you bring us here!?" Yuya asked, sounding rather annoyed. "We've been waiting around for an hour already... I want to know why!"  
  
"As you all know," Saizo began, speaking in a serious and sophisticated manner. "Tomorrow is Sanada Yukimura-sama's birthday."  
  
Everyone that had gathered, all but Sasuke, Kosuke, Kyo, and Saizo himself, soon became dumbfounded, as if the question running about their minds was something along the lines of, 'is this a joke...?'  
  
"Why did you bring us all here to tell us this...?" Okuni inquired, glaring up at Saizo, extremely angry for she had much more important things to do. She folded her arms in a huff, mumbling something under her breath about how no one put together a gathering for her own birthday.  
  
"Isn't it obvious...?" Kosuke said, looking over at Saizo, who nodded in agreement as she continued. "It's... **_YUKIMURA'S_** birthday."  
  
Everyone stood in silence.  
  
"It's the most important day of the year!" Saizo persisted, looking at everyone firmly, wondering why none of them seemed to get the pure greatness that was Yukimura's day of birth.  
  
"If not for this day," Kosuke began, walking out into the center of the small group. "None of you would be able to call upon from your memories the smile you constantly see taking over the face of one Yukimura Sanada. If not for the day...! What would have become of us all? Being Yukimura-sama- less... only chaos..."  
  
Saizo wiped a tear from his eye.  
  
"So, what does Yukimura want, Saizo?" Sasuke asked, staring at Kosuke and Saizo strangely.  
  
"He wants... clothing... and things for his hair."  
  
"I would think he wanted sake...." Benitora mumbled to himself sarcastically. That earned him an evil glare of hatred from Sasuke, Kosuke, and Saizo.  
  
"I have a question," Yuya started cheerfully, deciding to be nice, seeing as if she wasn't, Kosuke and Saizo were likely to behead her, then perhaps Sasuke would kick at her lifeless body for amusement. "How are we going to know what clothes to get him? How will we know his size, or what looks good on him without him getting suspicious...?"  
  
All eyes focused on Kosuke.  
  
"Okay then," Yuya said. "Shall we all go shopping?"  
  
A cute and happy chibi expression overtook the face of Saizo as he led the way into town.  
  
Kyo hesitantly followed the others, spitting at the feet that walked in front of him every once in a while—Benitora's. What on earth was he going to get Yukimura!? He hadn't actually thought about it, nor did he wish to put thought into it. So, he decided, that he would try extremely hard to get the most thoughtless gift he could get.  
  
Yuya gazed giddily at all the beautiful clothing surrounding her, a scarf in particular. She claimed she was looking for something to buy Yukimura, but, oddly enough, she was looking through the woman's clothing, in her size....  
  
Benitora curiously picked up a pretty, silk, expensive looking—although not—scarf. It was blue and floral patterned, and when Benitora pictured Yukimura wearing it, it looked very nice. "Easy!" he thought to himself, having already found the perfect present in less than five minutes of searching. It was at that moment he saw Saizo walking by him. Saizo was carrying many, many... many... boxes, bags, and just STUFF (A/N: Many stuffs?)! Stuff which included the scarf Benitora was going to get. Benitora sighed, throwing the scarf back down to continue his search....  
  
Okuni stared at the huge selection of hair products. There were just too many to even name. And worst of all, they all looked exactly the same to her. Perhaps she would just get him that scarf she'd seen.... But that would have meant more walking. So, without hesitation, she grabbed one of the bottles at random, paid the man and was her way to meeting place of the "purchasers."  
  
Sasuke walked around slowly, simply staring at all there was to buy. How was he supposed to know what to get!? He didn't know anything about shopping for clothes, or hair, or whatever it was that Yukimura wanted. Then he spotted Saizo, happily walking around with almost too many gifts to carry. It was one gift in particular that caught his eye: a pretty blue floral patterned scarf, precariously dangling from Saizo's arm, about ready to fly off into the wind. Sasuke quickly went into action, grabbing the scarf before Saizo could notice, and running off to where he saw Okuni waiting.  
  
Kosuke was trying on kimono after kimono, trying figure out which looked best on her. But there were simply so many! All of equal beauty! So, in the end, she bought four—deciding to put back a scarf she found too, since she was already giving him two or three kimonos—deciding that whatever she didn't give Yukimura she could keep for herself.  
  
A half an hour and lots of money later, Saizo joined everyone at the predetermined meeting location, seeing that they all had little wrapped packages.  
  
"Alright, then, let's get all this stuff over to the predetermined party location and set up for Yukimura-sama's birthday 'bash'," Saizo said, motioning for everyone to follow him.  
  
They all walked, as the vultures circled overhead. They all walked, as the grass beside them grew. They all walked, swearing that they heard a young woman screaming in horror off in the distance. They all walked, until finally they reached Saizo's so called "predetermined party location," which was, actually, in the middle of nowhere.  
  
"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT IT IS NOT THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!!!!" Sasuke shouted, beating Saizo over the head with a large rock.  
  
"Umm... so we're just going to have his party out in the middle of- ... the forest?" Yuya inquired, backing away from Sasuke.  
  
"Of course, it was my idea!" Yukimura chuckled, walking over to the group and waving. Everyone stared. "It's very nice here today...."  
  
"Yukimura-sama! Please, take a seat!" Saizo said, pointing to a little spot in the grass that he had cleaned free of dirt, leaves, and anything else that might obstruct Yukimura's sitting.  
  
Yukimura took his seat happily, watching as everyone else made themselves comfortable and began talking.  
  
After all the party-like mingling and the customary "pin the tail on the chibi drawing of Kyo" game, it was finally time to give Yukimura his gifts. Saizo began to sweat.  
  
Hopefully no one had messed up terribly when thinking of Yukimura....  
  
"This one's from me!" Kosuke cried, handing Yukimura a beautifully wrapped box.  
  
"Aww, you shouldn't have!" Yukimura said, after he had already opened AND put it on the kimono (to everyone's trauma).  
  
"And these are from me, sir," Saizo said, putting on a smile as he handed Yukimura thing after thing, box after box, bag after bag, and stuff after stuff. Clearly, Saizo had gone a bit overboard.  
  
"Thank you Saizo...! Even though I don't... wear glasses... but I love them anyway!" Yukimura said, laughing. "And who's this from?" he inquired, picking up a larger box.  
  
"That's from me," Yuya said, smiling feebly.  
  
Yukimura slowly opened it....  
  
Everyone stared.  
  
"Why did you get him that?" Okuni whispered, glaring at the poor girl.  
  
"Well he's worn women's clothing before and..."  
  
"But nothing like that!" Okuni yelled, pointing at the skimpy dress Yuya had given to Yukimura.  
  
"Emm... thank... you..." Yukimura said, putting on a cheerful face, tossing the dress into the pile of Saizo gifts. "And how about this?" he then asked, picking up another gift.  
  
"Mine!" Okuni said, raising her hand. Yukimura carefully opened the bag, and then took out the bottle of hair washing... soap. As luck would have it, it was Yukimura's favorite kind, not to mention very expensive.  
  
"Oh, thank you!" Yukimura said gleefully, carefully putting the bottle down.  
  
Okuni smirked at Yuya mockingly.  
  
"Here's mine," Kyo laughed evilly, handing Yukimura a small box.  
  
"Chopsticks!?" Everyone cried out in unison, thinking about how truly thoughtless a gift that was. Not only were they just chopsticks, but they were truly the cheapest, easiest to come by! Not to mention they were identical to the ones they had in the restaurant they all ate at after buying Yukimura's gifts!!  
  
"Oh, Kyo!" Yukimura cried, sounding sincere and joyous, as he turned to look at the red eyed man. "I think this just might be the best gift of all...." He sighed, gazing thankfully at Kyo. Everyone stood, stared in total shock. "You put so much thought in not putting thought into this gift.... You really do care!"  
  
"Awww..." everyone sighed.  
  
Kyo was about ready to start murdering everyone. HIS PLAN HAD BACKFIRED!! But how!? BUT WHY!?  
  
"Here's mine!" Benitora said, smiling wide, as he handed his own gift to the birthday boy.  
  
"It's a..." Yukimura started, but quickly closed his mouth when seeing it, going into deep thought.  
  
"A whip!?" Yuya shouted, glaring at Benitora.  
  
"Yeah!" Benitora whined. "Like for a horse! It has your name inscribed in it too!" Benitora cried, pointing to where the letters "Y" and "S" were put into the whip's handle.  
  
"I... thank you," Yukimura said nervously, putting the whip over Yuya's dress.  
  
"From me...." Sasuke mumbled, handing Yukimura the scarf, not wrapped, but still nice all the same. Yukimura gently took it, then smiled at Sasuke happily.  
  
"I LOVE IT!" he said, reaching out to give Sasuke a hug.  
  
Clearly, he preferred the scarf over all the other gifts.  
  
Everyone glared around aimlessly, no, not aimlessly, at SASUKE!  
  
"Such a great and thoughtful gift!" Yukimura continued, smiling and laughing.  
  
"Stupid scarf..." they all mumbled....  
  
—END—  
  
I dare you: name a more plot-less story.... (lol) Please Review! 


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